i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
