Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
