its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
