how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The air taste purple.
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