i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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