we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he fucked my hip out of place.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
