I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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