Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize