Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
