Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
