it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
