you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
