Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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