You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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