he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
