May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
