You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
