Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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