I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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