The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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