Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
