So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
