I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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