K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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