whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
