Are we in a gay sports bar?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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