i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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