She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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