Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
