it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
two words: eviction party
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
