i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
