I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just had sex bonerless
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
