his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
