"it" just moved
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's blow job season.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
