Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
