is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
