well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
