Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize