Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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