Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
