oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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