I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
