Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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