Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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