she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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