would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
