Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
