I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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