After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
