Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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