my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
