i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
