Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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