Do you still have your period?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
