I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
