so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
