Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
