how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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